EMDR

      I don't have much to say today.   June was a difficult month.  July luckily has been a little bit better, but August is peeking it's head around the corner and frankly I'm terrified of the months ahead.   

     This week I met with my therapist again and did my first session of EMDR.   It's a type of therapy that helps your brain process trauma.   I honestly don't really know a lot about it.   I first heard about it six years ago just after we had spent our first visit in the ICU.  A woman in our church, who happens to be a therapist, was substitute teaching with me the cute little three and four year old kids.   I told her a bit of our experience she suggested that EMDR therapy would be helpful.  We tried to get in to see her, but then life got even more difficult.   

     I found this quote a while back that I think describes  my situation pretty well.   We went through some intense stuff and grief especially of a sudden loss is also very traumatic.   

      Trying to protect me, my body has surrounded me in some pretty serious armor.   

     It's why seeing pictures of him and our time in the hospital can  instantly bring me to tears.   One day I hope to be able to see pictures of him and not cry.   

      But it's going to take time and a lot of patience and hard work.   Ugg...